Friday, February 29, 2008

Valuation Service

Gentleman walks in and we have the following conversation (which I promise is not edited or made up):

Muppet: "I have some bird books - how much are they worth ?"

Mitchell: "I don't know - do you have them with you"

Muppet: "No"

Mitchell: "Well who is the Author ?"

Muppet: "I Don't know"

Mitchell: "Well do you know the title ?"

Muppet: "I Don't know"

Mitchell: "Well how old are the books ?"

Muppet: "I Don't know - they are a bit tatty - are they worth rebinding ?"

Mitchell: "That would depend on how much they are worth"

Muppet: "Oh - there are six of them. How much would they be worth then ?"

At least he didn't tell me they were blue !!!!!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Top Titles

You couldn't make this up.

I have just listed on the internet two fine books, written in the 1930's.

The author is H. A. Manhood.

The first book is called "Night seed" the second is "Gay Agony"

Fnarr fnarr. Definately a Viz moment.

French stuff

Chap comes in and asks if I deal with manuscripts. I tell him that I do sometimes, and he pulls out an old French vellum handwritten manuscript which he tells me is from 1647 and asks me what I can tell him about it.

His manner made me a little suspicious - so I asked him if he was wanting to sell it. He replied "Oh no- I shall sell it on ebay, I just want you to give me information about it"

I told him that it was a french handwritten manuscript and that was all I knew about it. He pointed out that he already knew that, and that I hadn't even touched it.

"Quite" I replied - feeling very smug and ascerbic (Is this why I have no customers ?).

Dirty Rotten Scoundrel

I always hate people tryin to con me (almost as much as i hate those who manage it).

Chap arrives in the shop and spends some time looking through the History section. Eventually he asks me if I can get hold of a book for him. It is his brothers birthday, and he has asked for a specific Victorian history book. After I have got the name and author, he says that it MUST be the second edition from 1861.

I managed to find a copy located in the USA, and quote him a price of £16 (including £8 shipping and dealer price of £6 - so a grand total of £2 profit for me). He says he will think about it and goes off.

Ten minutes later, he reappears, and pulls a copy of the same book out of an Oxfam bag (second edition of course!) and tells me that miraculously, he has just found the book in Oxfam. He has now suddenly decided that he doesn't wish to give it to his brother (even though he had requested it) and what would I offer him for it.

He was most upset when I said I would give him £1. He pointed out that I had just asked him £16, and i explained again the breakdown of this. I also told him that it was the sort of book and condition that I would sell for £3 - hence the £1 offer. His reply was that he had just paid Oxfam £5 - wouldn't I at least give him that (Oh No !!) and what was he meant to do with it now.

Resisting the urge to tell him to shove it where the sun don't shine, I suggested that he try to sell it to Oxfam, as they had such a high opinion of it. He went of a little disgruntled.

And I was glad.