Man walks in with a carrier bag full of newspapers and puts them on the counter and asks for a valuation.
"I'm sorry, we don't buy newspapers"
"But you haven't even looked at them"
"I can see they are newspapers, and we don't buy newspapers"
"But these aren't newspapers, they have articles and front pages on the royal family"
"That makes them worse - as a fervent Republican who would shoot the lot of them just after the politicians and before the clergy, I have moral objections to books on the land and title grabbing aristocracy"
"Royalty are very popular with collectors"
"Not in this shop - I can only sell royal items that are early Victorian or before - perhaps 1850 or earlier".
"Yes, some of these are that old, look...." (Pulls out a 1956 newspaper with an aricle on Queen Elizabeth).
"Is that the oldest"
".......Yes"
"hmmmm"
(He gathers his bags and exits stage left)
(Only one of these lines has been made up)
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3 comments:
Oh. Good. Grief. You may need that shillelagh now.
I think perhaps it's just as well you DON'T have a shillelagh to hand. The temptation to use it may be overwhelming in the face of such provocation - yet until the revolution and/or riots start, customer-bashing is generally frowned on by the authorities. Perhaps you could keep a pillow under the counter to punch in times of severe stress...?
Indeed perhaps it is to be hoped that our royal princes who are motorbiking around Africa for charity will perhaps abdicate and save us all from more of their royal antics. One wonders how much the security for such a venture will cost when weighed against what they hope to raise.
But then again, now I wonder why I waste my time even thinking about them.
I often buy newspapers. I have a coal fire and need paper to start each fire. Some burn better than others. Few are interesting.
May your day be blessed with people who wish to purchase books and the odd gift of a rare gem seeking a new home.
Jackie, and the gingercats
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