Thursday, July 31, 2008

Get the social services

Chap comes in and starts looking at the children's books.

He picks up a copy of "Heidi Grows up" (The sequel to Heidi obviously !) It has a young girl sitting among the flowers on the cover.

"Heidi Grows Up" he drooled.... "Now there's a fantasy come true, he he he, he he he, he he".

I just looked at him with my best Paddington glare and made a mental note to keep him away from any young people I know.

Keen Customer

Chap was so keen to get into the shop today that he collared me in the market square, and practically frog marched me to the shop. I pointed out that I wouldn't be open for a while, as I had to tidy up some bits, put out the rubbish, and hoover the shop.

At this point, he took the hoover from me, and announced that he would hoover for me, as that way he could speed up the opening and "quiet time" reading his books.

And so he did!

He made a pretty good job of it too.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The joys of my Arch Nemesis

This week has mainly been full of people trying to offload their rubbish on me for cash, before generously donating anything totally unsalable to the local charity shops.

Some highlights have included the young chap who brought a book in that he had purchased in a local Oxfam shop, with a request for a free valuation from me. (without looking at the book, i told him that it was worth about half what he paid for it).

Later that day came another chap, who tried to sell me some garbage, and while i was declining his offer of junk that had been turned down elsewhere, he noticed that I put a couple of paperback into the paper recycling (take note Oxfam, paper doesn't HAVE to be dumped in black sacks for the bin men). He instantly switched tack, and decided that he would like these for nothing, as i was throwing them out anyway.

Finally, came the woman who tried to sell me an RAC Road Map of Britain from the year 2000. When i suggested that it was out of date, and not something that I could sell, she commented that it was no wonder that Oxfam were putting me out of business, and that THEY would appreciate her kind donation.

Thank you all, my kind local supporters.


A woman dashes into the shop and practically throws herself at the counter.

I instantly suspect a new, novel approach to selling me books, but am caught off guard by her request.

Apparently, she had a 30 minute tanning session in the beauticians up the road, and would I mind awfully keeping an eye for traffic wardens, and fetching her if any appear, as she just HAD to leave her car on the double yellow lines outside my shop.

I suggested that car park in the next street would be a better solution, but apparently that was too far to walk. I pointed out (muttering under my breath that the tanning salon was too far for me to walk) that I had a shop to run, and couldn't guarantee seeing a warden, but i would do my best.

31 minutes later the storm of her entrance returned, and i suspected that i had missed a warden, and was about to receive the brunt of her freshly tanned and scrubbed wrath, but she was just whirling in to say thank you for looking after her car.

I mentioned that it was nothing (which was true, as i hadn't done anything - don't think i had even glanced outside) and sat warmly glowing in the reflected glory of her tan and praise.

She didn't buy a book though.