Chap walks in. I knew he would be trouble as he struggled to bring in his bycycle, loaded down for a round the world trip, wooden boxes as paniers, big rucsack on the handlebars and a trailer attached. This took up most of the shop floor.
I suspected that this was full of books he wished to sell, but no, he wanted a book from the window.
"I've cycled back for the book on Protestant Island" I'm half Irish and want to read about the Protestants there".
"No sir, it is called "Protestand Island" It is by Arthur Bryant and
is about the United Kingdom - not Ireland."
"That's right - the Protestants in Ireland. How much is it?"
"£12 sir, but it isn't about Ireland - its about the British"
"I can't find Ireland in the Index"
"No sir - it won't be, it isn't about Ireland"
"Land of the free - that chapter will be about Ireland"
"Possibly sir, but it is more likely to be about America"
"Where is information about Irish Protestants"
"That will be in a different book sir, the one on Ireland perhaps"
"Well i'll take it anyway - not a good index, but i'm sure i'll find out about the Irish in it."
"Perhaps I can tempt you with my copy of "Florida, the Sunshine
State" which is all about the Jewish Irish in Lapland to go with your
collection of wildly misnamed books on bizarre subjects sir"
"I've cycled from France by bycycle as it cost too much to take a car to Normandy - it's £300 on the ferry, and only a £100 for my bycycle so i decided to take my bycyle and not a car. I don't have a car anyway".
I smiled sweetly, and bit my lip until it bled profusely.