"Hello, I'd like you to give me a valuation please for these Reader's Digest Condensed Volumes"
"Am afraid they have no value at all, you can't even give them away"
"Even though they are first editions ?"
"But they aren't first editions madam, they are Reader's Digest"
"But the are First Edition Thus - first Reader's Digest issue"
"So that makes them a re-print madam"
"Even though they are covered in mock leather covers ?"
"I'm afraid fake leather doesn't enhance value madam, it takes real leather for that"
"So no value then"
"Not even charity shops can sell them madam"
"Well i'll take them to a charity shop then"
I wouldn't mind so much, but quoting first edition and first thus at me - she obviously understands the terms and what they mean.