Man walks in with a carrier bag full of newspapers and puts them on the counter and asks for a valuation.
"I'm sorry, we don't buy newspapers"
"But you haven't even looked at them"
"I can see they are newspapers, and we don't buy newspapers"
"But these aren't newspapers, they have articles and front pages on the royal family"
"That makes them worse - as a fervent Republican who would shoot the lot of them just after the politicians and before the clergy, I have moral objections to books on the land and title grabbing aristocracy"
"Royalty are very popular with collectors"
"Not in this shop - I can only sell royal items that are early Victorian or before - perhaps 1850 or earlier".
"Yes, some of these are that old, look...." (Pulls out a 1956 newspaper with an aricle on Queen Elizabeth).
"Is that the oldest"
(He gathers his bags and exits stage left)
(Only one of these lines has been made up)